Leadership by example | There is only one leadership strategy that works!

Leadership is not just for a select few. No matter your age or your role, whether you lead a big company with thousands or a small group, some moments call for leadership. When your business suffers a serious loss, there should be individuals who lead the way for improvement. In tough times with your family, at least one person should step up and help fix things. When you practice with your band in your garage, you need visionaries to see what comes next. It’s not only about those in top positions on the org chart. This is also a major issue in our society: always waiting for answers from those above us. We all share this responsibility. This is where leading by example really matters.

There are moments in life when you follow and moments when you lead. In both situations, your attitude matters a lot, as even when you are a follower, you must show leadership.

If you are only at ease when in charge and your behavior changes drastically when you have to follow someone else’s lead, you might not be a great leader. If you get cranky, slow down, and overlook suggestions when you are in a follower role, then it’s time to improve your leadership skills.

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Insecure individuals, which is what they truly are, tend to be average leaders, ineffective leaders, and closed off to new ideas. If this sounds like you and this article resonates, don’t worry: you can change!.

Leadership by example

When it comes to leadership, most people imagine positions of responsibility, titles and honorary positions. “ A CEO or president is a leader«, that’s what most of us mistakenly assume. Leadership is more about responsibility than position! I will return to this topic in a future article, but it is better to be a leader without management than a manager without leadership! Especially for your teams.

Leadership is not tied to your position in the organization you work for. Leadership is a set of character traits that we can all cultivate. In fact, I believe that leadership is a set of essential skills that every person should possess. Contrary to popular belief, I don’t think leaders are born with a position of dominance.

If there are predispositions that help, if there are people who are naturally more dominant and assertive, leadership is not limited to this. I know some great leaders who are introverted and soft-spoken.

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But how do they lead? How do they get people to follow them? How do you get people to listen to your ideas?

In fact, even within a small team, you may have to manage strong characters with strong opinions. You find yourself playing the role of mediator on a daily basis. It takes a lot of time, and even if you have to dedicate time to the personal side of the job, it can get really mentally taxing. How to create a dynamic team and stay positive despite negativity? How to influence change within your team?

Leadership won’t help you force people to do anything. We can’t force people to follow us or listen to us. In such positions, most managers raise their voices or pound their fists on the table. The result is that the most reckless will walk away and the others will submit in an atmosphere of anxiety, before letting you go at the first opportunity.

I was lucky enough to be surrounded by terrible managers and to know excellent leaders. The best among them become mentors, often in spite of themselves. They never tell you what to do, yet you learn a lot from them.

There is only one leadership strategy that works!

You can only lead by example. There is no other effective way to inspire people.

If you want your team to be positive, you need to be positive too. The same goes for your family, your spouse and your friends. Leadership is about responsibility. Two former Navy Seals, Jocko Willink and Leif Babin, transcribe the responsibility of the leader better than anyone in their book “Extreme Ownership”:

If you think your team sucks, then you suck. Maybe you will answer me: “ but I’m not even the leader or manager! » People often hide behind this excuse. So what? Remember when we said above that leadership has nothing to do with titles?

While you may not technically be the leader in your work, family, or group of friends, you can still set a good example.

How to set a good example?

Here’s how I personally try to live:

I expect from others only what I expect from myself. I will never ask to do something I don’t do, to take the step I don’t take, to walk the distance I can’t commit to maintaining. All the articles in this blog reflect my journey, what I learn, more or less easily, and sometimes even my own psychoanalysis!

I’m not done, I have a lot to learn. I am a «Work in Progress» and my articles and courses are based on my real actions and results. I also look for the expectations I develop for myself in the people I work with. Sometimes less, never more.

When things go wrong, I try to stay calm. Life is nothing more than a series of problems solved or in the process of becoming so. This means that we are constantly faced with challenges, problems and bad situations. It is important to stay calm and take time to think. If possible, do not make hasty decisions. When you remain calm, others will tend to be calm too.

When you’re wrong, admit it. I proclaim it to my team: “We have the right to make mistakes” and we apply it. The consequences are rarely serious, and even if they were, this adage must remain true. This is reassuring for each of us and above all I don’t want an anxious climate in which everyone tends to hide their mistakes.

And because I’m not perfect, I know my team can apply this formula to me the day I make a mistake. And it happens.

The clever mix of responsibility and kindness helps create a healthy working climate.

This doesn’t mean that we don’t talk about our mistakes, that we don’t analyze what we could have done better, and that we don’t learn from them. However, this must happen in a calm atmosphere, where everyone knows that they will not be tormented by reproaches. Let’s leave ego and resentment in the closet aside. Our mistakes and failures do not characterize us.

Be clear about your values. If you want to lead by example, we need to know your values… and you need to apply them yourself. For example, as a marketer, I refuse to distort the truth, I reject unclear plans, and my articles on marketing are sometimes surprising. However, the people who join me do so because of my values. I also don’t like people who don’t keep their commitments, who can’t be counted on. We cannot build together. Make your values ​​known. People need to take you seriously.

We can’t change people, but we can inspire them

I respect others and don’t try to change them or tell them what to do. It is impossible to change people by force. They will make efforts for a while but they won’t last long. We can only change ourselves (and even this exercise is not always easy).

On the other hand, I can set a good example and it is the best way to inspire those around us. Sometimes it doesn’t work or takes longer. I accept it.

These are the lessons I’ve learned from studying leaders from all walks of life: from business leaders in a wide variety of industries to religious leaders.

The most important thing is not to change others, but to change ourselves. I know my flaws, my faults, my insecurities. I’m far from the best leader, I make a lot of mistakes and I’m learning. But when I change, others may feel inspired to do the same. This is why I easily share my flaws and mistakes on this blog. You will have noticed this if you are a regular visitor of these pages.

When I receive feedback from my students or readers that they have been inspired and that it has led to a change in their lives, I am happy for them.

But what if some people don’t change? This is probably better news than you think. You don’t want to be with them, you don’t want to build important things with them, you don’t want to build your life with them. Leadership by example is also a matter of selection!